Written by Horng Yuan | Photo by Stillness InMotion on Unsplash
Have you ever been involved in a conflict?
We can all agree that conflict is a normal part of life. De Janasz, Dowd, and Schneider note that a conflict is any situation where goals, cognitions, or emotions within or between individuals or groups are incompatible; a conflict leads to opposition or antagonistic interaction. We do experience conflicts of ideas, thoughts, values, and actions in relationships, families, communities, and organisations. Most of the times, the conflicts are unavoidable.
Sources of Conflict
There are numerous things that can cause conflict between individuals and in organisations; the following are three of them.
First, different goals and objectives. Tension and frustration can build up when you work with people who share different personal and/or professional goals and objectives. They can be in the same team or different groups within the organisation. Conflicts can escalate when there is disagreement on expectations, strategies and approach to work, output, and deliverables.
Second, limited resources. Individuals or organisational departments that are vying for the same pool of limited resources compete for their fair share of resources. As most resources such as money, time, supplies, equipment, and human talent are finite, competition can heat up, leading to conflict.
Third, miscommunication. Miscommunication usually happen when we fail to establish the right medium of communication, understand the people we communicate with, and listen. Also, we are not clear with what we communicate; we say one thing but mean another. The direct result is misinformation and misunderstanding.
6 Tips to Managing Conflicts
The following are 6 practical tips for you to consider when you face with conflicts.
1. Develop understanding
Do not react impulsively, but take time to assess and understand the context and scope of the situation at hand. Always consider the source of the conflict, the issues involved, the people involved, and the dynamics of their relationships. As you reflect, you will very likely realise that the conflict and the events that lead up to it may be less problematic or consequential than they first seemed to be. Accept the faults or mistakes of the people involved, and do not dwell on the past. Focus on the present and develop objective perspectives to help you select a conflict strategy to be applied as appropriate.
2. Decide whether to engage or not
You will find that not all conflicts are manageable and worth the effort to resolve. So, think carefully and decide if you want to engage and pursue a solution. Always check your initial reaction and make sure you have all the facts before making any judgement. Note that at times, it is better to just ignore the conflict and provide no reinforcement at all; paying too much attention to the issue can make the situation worse. Other times, the best method is to table the matter, agree to disagree, and move on. Nevertheless, if you decide to engage, choose your approach, strategy, time, and place carefully.
3. Control your temper and emotions
Temper and emotions can flare especially when unkind words have been exchanged. It is therefore advisable to first take a short break to calm yourself before dealing with the conflict. When you are composed, you think and carry yourself better; you also show better respect for the other party’s feelings. Next, validate with the other party that the conflict is real to both of you. You can only proceed to problem-solving when the issues and feelings of the people involved are validated.
4. Search for common grounds
Perhaps the best way to resolve a conflict is to come up with a win-win solution acceptable to the parties involved. It is important to hear and understand others’ perspectives, objectives, goals, and interests; you can do so by asking open-ended questions. With the input you receive, try your best to make a decision that is the fairest and most helpful to the parties involved. There may be times you feel like a compromise is needed, which is fine. Bear in mind that when you take into consideration others’ input and feelings, you demonstrate your respect for their views and values; chances are they will respect yours too and appreciate your effort.
5. Bring in a third party when necessary
It is possible that a conflict cannot be resolved by the parties who are directly involved, especially when one of the them refuses to listen to the other’s viewpoints or compromise. You can propose the involvement of a third person to help mediate; in doing so you may soften up the other party. The mediator can be a person of a higher status, an experienced manager, or a qualified person with the required skill sets; he or she should be someone who is fair and sits on the fence.
6. Be creative
In a story by Paula Caproni, an employee was very frustrated with her boss who was intolerable. When a headhunter called and asked if she was interested in a job opening in a new company, the employee said she was not, but that her boss might be. The headhunter contacted the boss, the boss agreed to the offer, and the employee was promoted to her boss’s job. What we can learn here is that there are multiple solutions that can bring satisfaction to the parties involved in a conflict. We just need to be creative and think out of the box.
Conclusion
Managing conflicts is an important skill to have. To be more effective in dealing with people and leading an organisation, it is necessary to hone this skill. The practical tips above can greatly help you, so start applying them today!
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