Written by Horng Yuan | Photo by Oxana Lyashenko on Unsplash
One key professional and communication skill is being approachable. By definition, being approachable means being friendly and easy to talk to. It is an important trait to have for personal growth and career progression. Otherwise with or without you realising it, you can come across as being arrogant, distant, or shy.
The Benefits
There are many benefits to being approachable. To list a few, you will be able to:
- build and maintain a good rapport with people
- engage better with your superiors, colleagues, and subordinates
- put people at ease and help them perform better
- have faster access to more information
- grow and strengthen your network and connections
- gain more trust and loyalty from the people you associate with
The Seven Practical Tips
So, how can you be more approachable?
1. Be intentional to be the first
Be the first to initiate contact, viz to greet, welcome, extend your hand for a handshake, and start a conversation. Avoid sitting at your desk or standing by the side waiting for others to stop by to strike up a conversation. Being an initiator projects your warmth and sociability. There are many ways to start a conversation, for example by giving a compliment, opening with a clean or intelligent joke, asking for a favour, or stating a non-offensive and non-threatening observation of something related to your intended topic.
2. Make eye contact
People notice and connect with the eyes first, notes Kevin Hogan in his book The Secret Language of Business. Conscious and unconscious eye usage sends out many messages and conveys a variety of emotions. Good eye contact reflects you are paying attention and staying focused on the conversation and the person you are communicating with. It will show and earn respect, show understanding, increase empathy, and give confidence. Note that your smartphone can be a major distraction; avoid looking at it if there is no urgent matter.
3. Choose to listen carefully
Be a good listener. Epictetus was right when he said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we may hear twice as much as we speak”. Effective communication is always two-way, so always pay attention to the one you are conversing with and prevent your speaking from dominating your listening. People feel valued, respected, and invested into when you really listen to them and respond specifically to what they are bringing up.
4. Work on your non-verbals
Facial expressions and physical gestures matter; according to Kevin Hogan nonverbal behaviour accounts for the majority of the content you communicate. Taking cue from Jack Griffin, the author of How To Say It for First-Time Managers, avoid gestures such as fidgeting, yawning, rubbing your eyes, nose and ears, scratching your head, putting your hands across your chest or on your hips, lowering your chin, and shaking your head no. Instead, stay calm, relaxed, and always smile.
5. Have a list of questions to ask
Questions are great conversation starters. You do not need hard and deep questions; something basic will do just fine. For example, you can ask “How many siblings do you have? What’s your birth order?” for a casual chat and to get the know the other person better. In seeking for viewpoints and opinions, you can ask “How do you see that idea coming?” The book The Complete Book of Questions by Garry Poole can help you with questions for different contexts. Asking the right questions can help you find common grounds and prevent awkward silence and abrupt end in conversations.
6. Be generous in sharing
Be willing and prepared to share your opinions, perspectives, and insights when asked. It can be on matters related to your profession or life in general. You can also share information about yourself to make it easier for others to find common interests and relate to you better. You will be surprised to find that when you are willing to share something, you are more likely to receive something back in return.
7. Stay grounded and humble
Humility is a great virtue; it can attract people to you. Being humble makes you more approachable and likable. Be gracious with your words and be encouraging. The article How to Talk About Your Accomplishments Without Sounding Braggy and Annoying gives good pointers on how to communicate humbly.
Conclusion
It is not difficult to be approachable. Approachability does not require you to change the very core of your personality. It also does not mean you have to fake yourself and become superficial. Take small steps in applying the 7 tips above, and you can expect improvement in your personal growth, relationships with others, and career progression!
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